This past Wednesday, we discussed the idea of a "charmed life".
Wikipedia sourced the term from Shakespeare's Macbeth, describing someone with a charmed life as someone who seems to be protected by a magic spell or "charm"; nothing bad happens to this person and he/she seems to be bestowed with luck all the time.
In a more contemporary context, we may refer to someone who seems to have everything taken cared off in their life and live what seems to be a very good life to the rest of us. Examples sited at the meeting are the British royals, Tiger Woods, Paris Hilton, etc. The common theme seems to be someone who was born into a lucky situation or fortunate to be born with talent.
However, upon further discussion, it became evident that none of these people are living a carefree happy life, that maybe the charmed life belong to the fairy tales and snow white would be a good example.
Therefore, the term "charmed life" perhaps is more used by people who are envious of the seeming fortune of others and is actually a pejorative term, neglecting the challenge and difficulties that these "charmed life" people face and belittling the effort they have put into their roles.
Rafi pointed out the interesting point that Tiger Woods had to live up to the morals we expected of him while we do not expect the same morals from Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. Have we been unfair to Tiger? Perhaps Tiger should have cast himself in a more maverick role?
The discussion somehow moved to the term "ignorance is bliss". Knowing more frequently turn us more fearful and worried about our situation. Children seems to be more carefree and happy than adults.
Some said that it is always better to know more and there is no case for ignorance.
Are we affected negatively by new information because we overreact to the it and that we should tamper it down? Therefore we should not be overly fearful about getting on a plane just because there was a plane crash somewhere else the day before?
The relevance to the "charmed life" is that children is happier because they are protected by the parents and therefore they live a "charmed life", protected by the parents' spell (worry, care). If only we have our guardian angel looking after us, we can also be carefree, ignorant, and happy.
In other words, we can afford to enjoy the bliss of ignorance if we are protected (or charmed) by others.
Is that what makes religion attractive? That there is a god out there protecting the devout. All that is required is to believe and stay free from the complexities of the real world?
Discussing happiness naturally turned to what makes us happy and how we can measure it. My friend Michael from Toronto offered a concept from psychiatry in identifying sources of happiness through the acronym PERMA. It stands for Passion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement.
A person is happy when he is passionate about something, engaged in what he is doing, enjoy good relationship with others, finds meaning in life, and feel that he has achievements he is satisfied with.
This explains why people are actually happy during wartime.
They have no choice but be passionate about fighting off their aggressor, engaged in the important task of defending their country. They have good camaraderie with their fellow freedom fighters that they go through battle with, find meaning in their lives because they are protecting the motherland for their children, all the time savouring the victories they achieved along the way.
The modern well to do society simply lack these challenges that engage and provide meaning.
What is your PERMA?
Friday, October 14, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Ageing
I was at a Simon Fraser University philosopher's cafe last night about ageing.
It seems that we cannot talk about ageing without lamenting about how things are changing so fast, how the computer has changed our lives in such a short time, and how can older people ever connect with the younger generation.
There was also some expression of how the western culture do not respect the older members in society and how they are seen as a burden rather than a source of wisdom.
In the midst of discussing how to stay relevant and connected to the younger generation, there were also expressions of loneliness for the old and how our modern society may have the institutions to care for our physical health but lack the cultural values to assist our emotional health.
Some thoughts from the discussion.
1. The fast pace of change. While it is true that the rate of change as measured by any conventional yardstick have been fast and moving ever faster, my guess is that this is because computers, internet, and better communications have enabled us to progress faster. So from the standpoint of the effort required to keep up with the change, it may not be that much more than before. It does mean that we have to keep up with the new tools and systems. Those still using hand tools will have trouble keeping up with people using power tools but the power tool users may not be expanding much more effort to produce the larger volume of products compared to the hand tool users.
2. Age can be counted by the amount of time since we were born. Experience and wisdom are acquired over time through mindful observation and contemplation. A 60 year old is probably more likely to be wiser than a 50 year old but age is at most a measurement of odds and not a definitive indicator of wisdom and deserving respect. Demanding respect through old age alone is not sufficient especially to the young.
3. There was talk in the discussion that respect for the elder and the noble class have deteriorated since the first world war when the army generals and officers were obviously making big mistakes causing unnecessary casualties. I think that the way knowledge is being passed on may have something to do with the decreasing respect for age and authority. In the old days of apprenticeship with a master, the apprentice learn from doing and copying the master. It is difficult for the apprentice to know how much more he has to learn from the master and the master naturally had respect as he is the sole source of the knowledge. The master represents all there is to know in that particular field. As knowledge is gradually documented in books and students have access through experts far away through books, their immediate teacher no longer command the same respect as the master over the apprentice. Today, with internet search and Wikipedia at our finger tips, we can see someone may know more than we do, but we can also see that they do not know a lot more. Therefore, the respect continue to fade.
4. The analogy in "branding" is interesting. People start buying name brand sport shoes because the shoes felt comfortable but they did not initially know why. As they started to see the significance of arch support, resilient soles, and breathable top sides, they started considering other brand of sport shoes. In other words, they are gradually becoming knowledgeable about sport shoes themselves and no longer rely on the brand name as their assurance of quality or sport shoe expertise. We rely on brands when we do not fully know what it is that makes the branded products good. Just like an apprentice rely on the master because the apprentice do not have all of the master's knowledge and do not know where the master's knowledge ends. With reference books and the internet search options, it seems easy enough for ourselves to be knowledgeable if we spend the effort. Therefore, we no longer rely as much on reputation or brands, whether it is the old world master, the reputable retail store, or the so call "experts".
Finally, I think older people assume that they know better because they have been around longer and may even demand or expect respect due to their age. What is overlooked here is that respect is earned and bestowed by others. The more one demands it, the less it will be awarded.
It seems that we cannot talk about ageing without lamenting about how things are changing so fast, how the computer has changed our lives in such a short time, and how can older people ever connect with the younger generation.
There was also some expression of how the western culture do not respect the older members in society and how they are seen as a burden rather than a source of wisdom.
In the midst of discussing how to stay relevant and connected to the younger generation, there were also expressions of loneliness for the old and how our modern society may have the institutions to care for our physical health but lack the cultural values to assist our emotional health.
Some thoughts from the discussion.
1. The fast pace of change. While it is true that the rate of change as measured by any conventional yardstick have been fast and moving ever faster, my guess is that this is because computers, internet, and better communications have enabled us to progress faster. So from the standpoint of the effort required to keep up with the change, it may not be that much more than before. It does mean that we have to keep up with the new tools and systems. Those still using hand tools will have trouble keeping up with people using power tools but the power tool users may not be expanding much more effort to produce the larger volume of products compared to the hand tool users.
2. Age can be counted by the amount of time since we were born. Experience and wisdom are acquired over time through mindful observation and contemplation. A 60 year old is probably more likely to be wiser than a 50 year old but age is at most a measurement of odds and not a definitive indicator of wisdom and deserving respect. Demanding respect through old age alone is not sufficient especially to the young.
3. There was talk in the discussion that respect for the elder and the noble class have deteriorated since the first world war when the army generals and officers were obviously making big mistakes causing unnecessary casualties. I think that the way knowledge is being passed on may have something to do with the decreasing respect for age and authority. In the old days of apprenticeship with a master, the apprentice learn from doing and copying the master. It is difficult for the apprentice to know how much more he has to learn from the master and the master naturally had respect as he is the sole source of the knowledge. The master represents all there is to know in that particular field. As knowledge is gradually documented in books and students have access through experts far away through books, their immediate teacher no longer command the same respect as the master over the apprentice. Today, with internet search and Wikipedia at our finger tips, we can see someone may know more than we do, but we can also see that they do not know a lot more. Therefore, the respect continue to fade.
4. The analogy in "branding" is interesting. People start buying name brand sport shoes because the shoes felt comfortable but they did not initially know why. As they started to see the significance of arch support, resilient soles, and breathable top sides, they started considering other brand of sport shoes. In other words, they are gradually becoming knowledgeable about sport shoes themselves and no longer rely on the brand name as their assurance of quality or sport shoe expertise. We rely on brands when we do not fully know what it is that makes the branded products good. Just like an apprentice rely on the master because the apprentice do not have all of the master's knowledge and do not know where the master's knowledge ends. With reference books and the internet search options, it seems easy enough for ourselves to be knowledgeable if we spend the effort. Therefore, we no longer rely as much on reputation or brands, whether it is the old world master, the reputable retail store, or the so call "experts".
Finally, I think older people assume that they know better because they have been around longer and may even demand or expect respect due to their age. What is overlooked here is that respect is earned and bestowed by others. The more one demands it, the less it will be awarded.
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