Charmed life

This past Wednesday, we discussed the idea of a "charmed life".

Wikipedia sourced the term from Shakespeare's Macbeth,  describing someone with a charmed life as someone who seems to be protected by a magic spell or "charm"; nothing bad happens to this person and he/she seems to be bestowed with luck all the time.

In a more contemporary context, we may refer to someone who seems to have everything taken cared off in their life and live what seems to be a very good life to the rest of us.  Examples sited at the meeting are the British royals, Tiger Woods, Paris Hilton, etc.  The common theme seems to be someone who was born into a lucky situation or fortunate to be born with talent.

However, upon further discussion,  it became evident that none of these people are living a carefree happy life, that maybe the charmed life belong to the fairy tales and snow white would be a good example.

Therefore, the term "charmed life" perhaps is more used by people who are envious of the seeming fortune of others and is actually a pejorative term, neglecting the challenge and difficulties that these "charmed life" people face and belittling the effort they have put into their roles.

Rafi pointed out the interesting point that Tiger Woods had to live up to the morals we expected of him while we do not expect the same morals from Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. Have we been unfair to Tiger? Perhaps Tiger should have cast himself in a more maverick role?

The discussion somehow moved to the term "ignorance is bliss".  Knowing more frequently turn us more fearful and worried about our situation.  Children seems to be more carefree and happy than adults.

Some said that it is always better to know more and there is no case for ignorance.

Are we affected negatively by new information because we overreact to the it and that we should tamper it down?  Therefore we should not be overly fearful about getting on a plane just because there was a plane crash somewhere else the day before?

The relevance to the "charmed life" is that children is happier because they are protected by the parents and therefore they live a "charmed life", protected by the parents' spell (worry, care).  If only we have our guardian angel looking after us, we can also be carefree, ignorant, and happy.

In other words, we can afford to enjoy the bliss of ignorance if we are protected (or charmed) by others.

Is that what makes religion attractive?  That there is a god out there protecting the devout.  All that is required is to believe and stay free from the complexities of the real world?

Discussing happiness naturally turned to what makes us happy and how we can measure it.  My friend Michael from Toronto offered a concept from psychiatry in identifying sources of happiness through the acronym PERMA.  It stands for Passion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement.

A person is happy when he is passionate about something, engaged in what he is doing, enjoy good relationship with others, finds meaning in life, and feel that he has achievements he is satisfied with.

This explains why people are actually happy during wartime.

They have no choice but be passionate about fighting off their aggressor, engaged in the important task of defending their country. They have good camaraderie with their fellow freedom fighters that they go through battle with, find meaning in their lives because they are protecting the motherland for their children, all the time savouring the victories they achieved along the way.

The modern well to do society simply lack these challenges that engage and provide meaning.

What is your PERMA?