This coming Wednesday at the Ideas Cafe, we will be discussing how we develop children's self image and identity in our society.
My perception is that the popular approach in western society is to encourage children to think that they are special individuals, unique, and potentially can accomplish great things.
This seems to be the very foundation of a free and individualistic society. It is also the push to excel and stand out from the crowd, to think independently and not just to follow others.
So far so good.
But how does this upbringing work in our society of specialized skills where cooperation with others is an essential part of daily living?
How do we stand out from the crowd when they are also standing out from us? who makes up the crowd?
How does a choir of unique soloists sound like?
Winning in games, tests of skills and such seems to be a strong motivator for us from an early age. Is the appeal of being special and unique similar to the appeal of winning? Can we all win in our own way without someone else being the loser?
Does being unique and special push us away from feeling part of the community we are in the middle of? Is our empathy for others diminished because they are unique and special and therefore different from us?
Are we paying too little to the common ground we have with others?
From a purely efficiency standpoint, will the society as a whole work better if most of us are content with our lot in life rather than constantly feeling that we have not reached our potential?
Does feeling unique and special put us on an eternal chase that never ends as anything we achieve is soon not special anymore?
Then there is narcissism, at what point does feeling unique and special crosses the line to narcissism? to pushing others out of the way as they are less worthy?
Should we special people not deserve special treatment? If everybody gets special treatment, then it is fair to say that there is no special treatment for anyone?
Unless we have the version from the parable Animal Farm, that everyone is special but some are more special than others?
How can the foundation of free society be the source of all these issues?
Where is the happy medium and how do we define it?
Should we continue to tell children they are unique and special?
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