The first point that hit me was the differentiation between pain and suffering. While we may assume that pain leads to suffering. Some at the meeting wanted to separate the two and define suffering as more the psychological reaction to pain, hunger, loss, and other physical events.
There were quite a few at the meeting that disagree that pain and hunger does not necessarily lead to suffering but I think it is definition of terms that is causing the confusion here. If we want to carry on with the normal understanding of physical suffering due to physical pain, hunger, cold etc, we can call the other reaction the psychological component of suffering.
The position raised was that people suffer psychologically because they are wishing things are different, that they are not in pain, hunger etc. If they were to accept the situation and instead move on with their lives, or take concrete steps to deal with the situation, they will not have psychological suffering.
One young lady there mentioned that her father is suffering from worrying about her single status as in his mind she should be married and "settled" by now. However, she herself does not feel any suffering at all and therefore, this is an example of expectations causing the suffering.
It is certainly true that a lot of angst is caused by questions of "why me, why now etc" when something terrible happens. There is a lot of suffering when a loved one leaves or dies. Funerals are for the living and grieving is a way of coming to terms with reality, adjusting our expectations, and eventually ending our suffering when we accepts the new "normal".
The moderator raised the noble aspect of suffering. Well known people like Nelson Mandala and Gandhi are notable because they endure physical pain and suffering that stirred the masses through empathy and highlighted the inequity of the political systems they were under.
Suffering is also used in christianity to impressed their followers on how much they owe Jesus for the suffering done on the follower's behalf, to clear them of their original sin.
Suffering is therefore a ready tool to connect to strangers through empathy.
Then there are the joys of emotional attachment through falling in love followed by the inevitable suffering to come upon separation. Should we avoid the euphoria of falling in love to avoid the inescapable suffering later on? Can one be detached to avoid suffering but still relate to others in the human race?
For me, change is part of life. The inescapable ups and downs of our life is what makes it worth living. Someone at the meeting said she tried detachment for a while and it worked but it can lead to depression. I am not surprised. Humans are very adaptable creatures, we adjust ourselves to the situation and actually need change to keep us feeling alive. Suffering is as much part of the picture as euphoria and joy. I am not sure if we can have joy without suffering at some point.
Comments?
This is wonderful~! I was in the past, in psychotherapy that focused on Mindfulness. ‘Pain is not suffering’, ‘There is nobility in suffering’, and ‘Change is the only constant’ were my meditation mantras. The suffering here, is not a physical suffering, but the suffering we ‘believe’ we are in. It is not a matter of changing your physical conditions, but changing your thoughts upon your physical conditions. To do this, you must grasp a ‘cognitive faculty’ beyond what is the ‘physical faculty’ – that is, finding the spirit beyond the sense. This is analogous to the hermitary and eremitism ‘solitude’ – finding peace alone with oneself equally as finding peace in a crowd. Yet, this is not the complete answer. For instance, I am writing this at 1:30 a.m. as I ‘suffer’ from insomnia; when I do eventually fall asleep, I can go ‘beyond’ to many places in my dreams, yet when I am again awake, I will have to ‘keep my eyes open’. The idea is not to escape, but like the temptation of Gautama Buddha by Mara – the demon of desire, as he sat beneath the Bodhi tree, enlightenment comes from acceptance, not avoidance. When I am dead, I will be dead; while I am alive, I will be alive. Living is not centered on isolation, but inspiration. Love always hurts, yet it is the very pain of heartbreak that inspires more love.
ReplyDelete