Meeting on "bucket list"

We had our meeting yesterday about the practice of making a "bucket list" of things we want to do before we die.

I was not prepared for the wide ranging discussion coming out of this topic.

Most people are somewhat put off by the idea but not exactly sure why.

Sandra nailed it in saying that a bucket list is all about ourselves, it has a competitive side to it, and also suggests that we need to be constantly doing something or being stimulated.

There is a preference of quantity over quality in putting emphasis on items on the list rather than the experience itself.

In planning for the list, it is also inevitable that the list takes our attention away from living for the moment.

Richard put forward the notion that we are not alone and even though the bucket list is normally aimed at maximizing one's experience out of one's life,  it is inevitably affected by our shared language and values with those around us and the community that we belong to.

Rafi did not see anything wrong with maximizing one's own experience out of life.  We contributed to society just by being part of it in paying taxes to support the government and partaking in business that by necessity is needed by someone.  In other words, there is no need to feel guilty about looking after ourselves and getting the most out of life according to our desires.

Ricki said that she makes lists to get things done but when it comes to life, she expects more spontaneity.

Marcy wonders why we need to do a bucket list when it is a good thing for us to do some short, medium, and long term planning in any case.  If we occasionally think about what we want to accomplish in the next 5 years, will it not do the same in terms of focusing our mind towards what we want?  As with all planning, we have to be prepared to change our plans when we get closer to the details and review them against our original goals.

John thinks bucket lists are fore people past the stage of looking after family and career demands. Retirement is the time when one can turn back to satisfying their desires and making a list is the logical thing to do at that stage.

While most of the time the list is about traveling to exotic places and doing unique experiences,  there is nothing stopping someone to make a bucket list of good things they want to do for the rest of humanity instead of just for themselves.

It may be the desire to create legacy, to be remembered after we are gone.

We are, according to sociologists, part individual and part bee in a hive.   Our ego is constantly putting ourselves first but we also want to be an accepted and valued member of our community.  Our motivations are constantly driven by desires to satisfy our ego as well as those around us.

We are all going to die but perhaps we can continue to exist afterwards as part of humanity through what we have done.

Bucket lists will be different for people in different situations.  For the third world, they are so preoccupied with survival that their desire is to stay alive, never mind what to do with their lives.  It is a luxury for the developed world to fret over what they should do with their limited time.

There is also the question of whether we are actually free to choose what we want to do with our lives. Past events, external situations, our relationship with others, and even random events box us into very limited choices of what we can do.  Some would say we are not really free.

However, we do make choices.  Maybe not out of a lot of possibilities but we do influence outcomes with our choices.  To that extent we are free within the constraints of the moment. We should not look at freedom in black and white dichotomy but shades of grey that we are forever trying to create more options to choose from.

As to my example of someone crossing off eating scorpions in his bucket list, there were no takers. Here is a BBC video on that form some years ago.  I understand that the locals don't go for this and it is only for the tourists.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaeWrmYIuoM