I trust that we have all experience regret. For some of us, it is a strong, perhaps negative emotion that motivates us to change, to avoid having to experience that negative emotion again in the future.
Will we regret later on if we do not take that trip? Will we regret not finishing our "bucket list" when in our death bed? Will we regret not spending more time with our love ones while we can still do so?
Why do we feel regret at all?
Is it because it is an evolutionary trait that helps us survive the natural threats around us? Maybe it is the most easily startled and worrying animals that survive better? Maybe the worry free among us did not survive as well as the worrier among us?
Just because we feel the emotion of regret, does it mean it is justified?
Maybe we should not regret at all. What is done is done, it is the future that we can do something about and there is no point in wishing things were different in the past.
There are those who seem to be able to go through life without the burden of guilt (and therefore regret). Are we better to absolve ourselves of responsibilities for our actions? We live in a world of interlocking events and seldom can we say we were solely responsible for certain events. Why should we blame ourselves as much as we do?
Can we avoid guilt and regret by adjusting our expectations of ourselves? Should we?
When we say we are doing our best, is that a way of avoiding guilt and regret by limiting our expectation to what effort we can expand rather than what outcome we should expect?
We live in a world that is governed by probabilities, nothing is ever for sure. Is that good enough reason to not have expectations of outcomes? How do we plan anything if we cannot reasonably expect results?
Let's hear your ideas and comments.
The pursuit of justice is a noble cause. Who's outcome is that? Its a task left for the few. But so many could benefit if we lived in a just world. Regret could be not doing what's best for ones self and following the orders of an oppressive regime, for instance. Do the soldiers in the Nazi camps deserve their punishment? Sometimes trust and nievite can get in the way of justice. But unfortunately there are many who don't regret a single act they do, for there is a Greater Cause that supports it. Never support the "cause" blindly, is what I say. If I do, I would surely regret it.
ReplyDeleteVTS
Regret seems such a negative word unless I am using it in an apology to someone. Otherwise simply contemplate the past for its lessons, if any, and move on. And I will miss out on the conversation on the 28th—but will choose not to have regrets about it. Dan
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays....
ReplyDeleteI have realized how unique and awesome the ideas cafe is having moved to Toronto and not being able to find the same type of discussion group here. What a strange thing, but, I do regret not being able to be part of the discussions at the ideas cafe. I am back in Toronto taking a course in feminist counseling and advocacy skills to help enhance my philosophical skills, so I can get a job doing something worthwhile for everyone (hopefully!) Feminisim and philosophy really go good together, the one gives you practical tools for the world and the other the concepts about the world. I am working hard to get through all of this, but, I am hopeful that experience will prevail and maybe I'll be out that way again working in Vancouver...You never know. More likely I'll end up in Nunavet, or Great Spirit Lake, but anyhow, I may visit and am looking forward to seeing everyone some day soon.
peace and joy,
Vanessa T Somerset
Thanks for the comments.
DeleteIf only we can be free from our passions (emotions) and not feel the sting of regret but only learn from the lessons.
Can we control our passions? Are they still genuine passions if we can control them?
Do we remember and value lessons that we don't suffer from? How often have we repeated our mistakes until it really matters before we learn?
How do we prioritize the importance of our lessons learned if not by the amount of suffering incurred?
Seems to me that so long as we operate under our intuitive self (Dan Kahneman's system 1), this is how we learn.
Can we train ourselves to have our rational self (system 2) over ride our intuitive self?
Will we end up being passionless and unfeeling when we achieve full control of our intuitions and emotions?
Are we opening a new can of worms and should we just let sleeping dogs be?
Vanessa, thanks for your appreciation of the Ideas Cafe and looking forward to your participation at the discussions some day!
Oliver....